PB & J... Death Ensues

Day 2 of work over and done with. In case you were wondering, it was damn boring. The highlight of the day was getting into groups and filling out a "Job Safety Analysis". The instructors picked a task and we had to break the task down into steps, describe the potential hazards of each step, and then give ways on how the hazards can be avoided. The task was: Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.

1. Gather materials
HAZARDS:
A) Falling off the stool while trying to get the bread off the top shelf--death ensues
B) Trying to reach the jelly in the back of the refridgerator and knocking something heavy on your foot--long term hospitalization, possible amputation
C) Knocking the peanut butter onto your head from the shelf--concussion, coma, death ensues
D) Getting cut on the knife as you get it out of the drawer--death ensues
AVOIDING HAZARDS:
A) Put the bread lower
B) Keep the jelly on the door of the fridge so you don't have to reach around anything
C) Put the peanut butter lower
D) Wear heavy leather gloves to retrieve the knife

2. Open the jars.
HAZARDS:
A) Giving yourself carple tunnel--long term hospitalization, surgery, therapy, loss of mobility in the hand
AVOIDING HAZARDS:
A) Utilize tools, such as a jar opener to open the jars

3. Spread the peanut butter and jelly on the bread
HAZARDS:
A) Mishandle the knife and cut your wrist--death ensues
AVOIDING HAZARDS:
A) Use a plastic knife

4. Construct the sandwich by placing the two pieces of bread together.
HAZARDS:
A) Could possibly drop the jellied piece of bread on the floor, slip on it, and break the neck--parilyzation or death ensues
AVOIDING HAZARDS:
A) Do not be careless. Concentrate and place the two slices of bread together using the proper technique.

Yeah, it's really not that funny to read back over it, but after a full day of watching movies and more powerpoint presentations, it was like heaven to be able to do something besides stare at a screen and try to stay awake.

*EDIT* Oh, and the other chick from New Castle in my "class" also went to Kittanning yesterday while she was trying to go home, so I'm not the only one that was dooped by the sign!

A Day in Butler

Today was officially my first day of employment for the United States Postal Service and what a boring day it was. I, and eleven others, sat in a little room and listened to speakers and powerpoint presentations on the history and mission of the USPS and blah blah et cetera.

The hour for lunch was the best part. I sat on a bench near the city of Butler's WWII memorial. (Today and tomorrow I have to be in Butler for my orientation. It's about 30 miles away.) I ate a soggy roni roll which wasn't so good but it was nice out so I enjoyed it anyways.

Now, finding parking was nigh impossible. I got to Butler at 9:30 this morning and spent a half hour trying to find a damn parking spot. As a result, I was five minutes late. Oh well. However, the only parking I could find allowed a maximum of four hours so on my lunchbreak, I had to find another spot. Found one by means of trickery.

Found ONE empty spot with a ten hour meter. I was on foot when I found this and it was about three blocks from where my car was. So, in a brief moment of genius, I ran into the gas station across the street and asked to use a pen and have a piece or two of scotch tape. Then, newly armed with my "out of order" sign, I ran to the meter, taped it on, and went to get my car and parked there and removed the sign.

Was this illegal? Yeah. Did it get me a parking spot? You betcha. Will I do the same tomorrow if need be? Absolutely!

Afterwards, it was back to the little room from hell for more speakers and boring stuff. Come time to leave I ran into another problem. I was looking for Highway 422 West and I saw an exit sign that said "New Castle, Kittanning". This confused me because New Castle (my city) is in the opposite direction of Kittanning. But, I figured there'd be some kind of merge or something so I followed the sign because, after all, the sign said New Castle for a reason. Well, a half hour later, I'm in Kittanning shouting lots of obsenities and otherwise colorful words to the maker of that bloody sign.

So I get back on 422 (going west this time, not east) and head back to Butler and stop at a gas station to get something cold and wet. Funny thing is, I didn't know I had stopped in Butler again, so that was an enlightening conversation.

"I know this might be a really stupid question, but what city am I in?"

"That's not a stupid question. You're just outside of Butler."

"But that's where I started from! Oh hell..."

So after a brief chat to the clerk, I got directions back to New Castle and I returned without anymore hazards or lying, blaspheming exit signs.

Ergo, what should have been a 30 minute drive home turned into a two hour drive home. Fun stuff. :P

Another Walk with Bailey

Took some pics. See, I needed to get my mind off KoC drama which has totally hit the fan. Basically a big fight between Hans and my best friend in Family of Honor (whom I call Gunny) which led to the splitting up of all the alliances in our group, and ALMOST resulted in a break up between me and Hans who hates the fact I'm good friends with his "enemy" (Gunny).

So yeah, I went for a walk with Bailey in the woods, and now have blisters on the backs of both my heels from the boots I wore.

Here's some pics I took.











I like them. It was really pretty in the woods today, and rather warm for this time of year (and considering that it just snowed a week ago). The wind was really a-blowin' as well. Seriously, there are few things that compare to the wind blowing through your hair.

Oh, and just 'cause. Here's the semi-nude male banner that I made earlier in the week:

So...tired...can't...close...eyes...scary...

Why do I watch scary programs on TV? Someone tell me, please. See, fact number 1348 about me: I am a bloody coward. I am. Really. No problem admitting that one. BUT, I must be a scare-o-philiac because I seem to be sadistically addicted (consonance and assonance are fun) to the show "A Haunting" on Discovery channel. See, it's real accounts of people that have had some kind of encounters with ghosts or spirits. None of them are ever good ghosts of course. Good ghosts aren't so good for ratings. ("Awww, he was your friend? Too bad! Casper's been done darlin! NEXT!")

And since I'm such a coward/pansy/chicken/wuss (I'll keep it clean and not use the "cat" word) after watching this creeeeeeeeeepy show, I regress to early childhood and remember just what it's like to be afraid of the dark. (Pathetic, isn't it?) I watched a three-hour special of it tonight ("OMFG! It strangled her while she was sleeping! Mmmmmmm, HOLD ME!"), so now I've left the TV on to provide background noise (under normal circumstances, I freakin hate this), every room within my line of sight has at least one light on, and I really have to pee but I refuse to walk down my dark and spooky hallway to the bathroom. I watched the show Thursday night, too, and have since slept with a Disney movie playing on my TV to keep me company.

Yes, I do know that this is all ridiculous. Really, I do.

And I'm not so superstitious and insane that I can't logically talk myself out of all these little idiosyncrasies, but despite all my logic and rationale, I'm still quite afraid. Despite my best efforts to be otherwise, I am. I can't help it.

I also know that if I refrain from watching this show for perhaps a week or two, I'd be fine. I'd get over it; I wouldn't be scared anymore. Will I stop watching? Probably not. What the hell is wrong with me?

*EDIT* Just seconds after publishing this post, the show came on again (I left the TV on Discovery channel when it was over before.) I'm not watching again though, it's a repeat of the ones I already saw.

WARNING: HIGHLY ADDICTIVE

Ah yes, a KoC post. I'm top 50 again, so you can see this image. If it doesn't display, it means I've been sabbed to hell. Cry for me. :P



Now, there's a story to it here. About three days ago, the reputedly lazy-assed KoC admins stopped whatever they were doing and actually cracked down on the KoC cheaters. Cheaters, as in those who use autobuyers (therefore don't have to sacrifice TIME to actually PLAY the game), those who have several accounts (those that spend too much TIME to build MORE THAN ONE account and can then sell the weapons at the end to boost just ONE account) and those that login to other people's account and spend their gold for them (while they're SLEEPING or AT WORK).

When all these bannings started, I was ranked 60. Now I'm 39. They banned a lot of people (including the person that was ranked 1 and 100% guaranteed to win the age). Some of them are full-out bannings, some are temporary suspensions. If you remember tater from a previous post (in which I bitched about Hans) he was suspended for logging into other people's accounts.

Hans and I are still around which is quite surprising because he and I "bank" for quite a few others. Well, we USED TO bank for quite a few others. Now I can't even log into his account to find myself some good attacks because EVERYONE is petrified about getting banned and/or suspended.

Some are happy, some are not. I'm somewhere in between.

This is from the KoC forum. I don't know this guy but it's the best post there is on the issue of bannings:

hm
so people bitch when others cheat
and people bitch when cheaters get banned
and then people bitch cause STFU ASSHOLES and admit the fact that if you cheat, you get owned.
whens t0m getting banned
oh wait. finally. :)

And the main reason for this post is because one of the people that got suspended for a week is keeping a journal about it, which is quite hilarious and oh so true for us poor saps who know exactly what it's like to be addicted to Kings of Chaos.

Here're some exerpts (the colored bits are my additions for explanation purposes, or whatever other purposes I deem necessary):

10:41 am

QUOTE
You have been suspended for Logging into account(s) that are not yours. Your account will be re-enabled in 6 days, 8 hours, 32 minutes and 15 seconds.

i think i can, i think i can i think i can

----------

11:20

Ive discovered a missing child in my house, apperently mine....

given the time frame of my playing time in KOC, her age is about right....

----------

12:55 Day 1

My daughter had to go to school, catches the bus...
I walked outside...the air was cold and brisk....my hair lifted int he breeze....i took a deep breath.....then from behind the clouds....a...ray......i squinted my eyes....and shunned from it a bit..... unsure....scared...

my 6 year old grabbed my hand......"Mommy, its okay, its the sun"

i had forgotten...during my KOC history

Sun....wind....OMFG

then i looked at my daughter, she looked at me....i smiled.....and she said in her small and unwavering voice

"why are you so grey?"

i wanted to 5 x 1 her

"5x1" is a term for attacking someone five times with one attack turn, usually done to kill the other person's soldiers and damage or break their weapons. Can also be used to irritate.

----------

2:45 pm Day 1


i tried to sab the dishes...i figured i only needed 5 spies for the mess that was in the sink...

i lost weapons....;/

When sabbing, the number of spies you send determines how many weapons you can sab per attempt. Also, if you try to sab but you fail, you lose weapons by doing so.

----------

6:09 pm day 1


its set in, Im not waking up

i found i have road rage, i yelled at 90 year old woman for driving the speedlimit, telling her i would fuck her world up , and if she didnt believe me id take her effing DA and she could spend the rest of her living days buying it back!!

YEAH bitch!


*sigh*

came home, started dinner....i punched the number pad on microwave.......and cried

"DA" are your defense weapons, the ones most commonly sabotaged. Number pads are used when clicking links to make your army bigger.

----------

8:42 PM

Dear God, if there is one.....let me just look at the captchas...please....

im cold,,,,,its so cold in here.....OH!!! i have screen shots....*sigh* ifeel like an addict getin a semi fix....someone who has quit smoking and found a butt in the ashtray.....

----------

Overnight.....the shakes...


I decided that for the first time in a long time i would just go to bed early! YES! catch up on some much needed sleep....

I layed on the couch...glared over at the computer.....TV...now theres a new prospect...., flything through the multitude of channels...i rested on...The Food Network....if i cannot get a fix on KOC ill get through food......

I then rememberd the fat ass remark of Skorpz...no, i wont eat the food, ill watch it....Damn that bobby flay is a fucking cooking machine too......

I drifted off to sleep.....this would be nice....6 days, 8 hours of sleep every night...

Some people wake up multiple times per night so they can spend their gold and not get attacked. I, for the record, generally do not do this.

12:04 am

WTF!!!
i looked at the clock..you have got to be fucking kidding me!!!!! i got up, stumbled to the bathroom, didnt bother with the light, sat on a FUCKING WET SEAT!!

mother fuckers.....no one was listening when i gave them the tutorial on , Lift the seat, aim....pee.....fuckers

i walked out and by the comp...glared at it now..stroked my hand over the keyboard...winced....
i can go back to sleep...i layed back down....and slowly drifted, listening to the informercials of how colonics can clean out ur butthole and cause your poop to flow more freely.....

i tossed i turned, i woke up in a cold sweat....looking at the TV i blinked a few times...an infomercial......a ...WTF...KOC imformercial.....
for only 19.99 i could have not one, but 2 accounts on KOC!!! OMFG, i fell off the couch, grabbed the phone.. there was Aman and rocco, with cheezy smiles...selling KOC accounts, and if i call within the next 10 minutes, they will throw in 5 k clicks from Lacn recruiter!!! OMFG......

i woke up breathing heavy.....i dreamt it...FUCKERS

Aman and Rocco are two of the KoC admins. Clicks are the profits of "clicking" (scroll up if your forget clicking) and you do your clicks on a recruiter. LaCN recruiter is the best one this age.

3:29 am

i dont have to be fucking UP!!!!!!!

*a conversation between 2 PR members*

hey dude
yeah
guess what
i bought DA
a shitload huh?
yeah
Viv CANT SAB IT!!!!!!

fuckers.......

PR is an alliance. Viv is the person keeping this journal. She plays the sabber stategy.

----------

Day 2 7:01 AM


QUOTE
You have been suspended for Logging into account(s) that are not yours. Your account will be re-enabled in 5 days, 12 hours, 16 minutes and 58 seconds.

it was a rough night.....i made it though, DAY FUCKING 2!!!!

i drug myself to the bathroom, i new the seat was dry....as my ass had cleaned up the pee sometime during my withdrawel night.....
pretty bad when the one thing i look forward to is that early morning pee

im starting to envy tsom...rdj....fuckers.....can sab..

coffee i need coffee......

i need KOC.....

tsom and rdj are both sabbers who weren't suspended or banned.

----------

6:58 Day 2

*sigh*....blink blink....I stare at the log in page....it hates me, i keep looking around the back of the monitor, maybe i can peek in KOC

i went out for pizza tonight.....traffic...i counted the cars ahead of me....one old lady up front, holding me back...if i sent 3 spies, i bet i could sab enough of these effin cars outta my way so i could probe that front car and cause it enough damage to move it outta the way......

"Probing" is similar to 5x1ing. You attack once with one turn, just to damage or break weapons enough to accomplish your intent (also used by noobs to determine how much gold a person is holding).

----------

So yeah. In conclusion, I am sooooo not the only KoC addict. I'm not justifying my addiction--in fact, it's probably a pretty serious sign of craziness that I even UNDERSTAND her perspective on being suspended--but I'm pointing out that I could be farther off the deep end. :P

Spoiled Rotten America

I don't know about you, but I spend half my life looking at people through Norman Rockwell lenses: loving them, seeing their decency and generosity, smiling at the foibles of their children, feeling their sweetness and cheerful good manners in every small encounter of the day; watching the gentle rustle of a tree in the low, western sun and knowing, really knowing, the perfect joy of it; and so, so grateful for the mysterious good fortune to be born here, now, together.

The other half of the time, I look around me and think, "How sweet it would be to kill them all."

Do you know that feeling? Do you know what I mean? Of course you do. We all do.

Most people swing back and forth between light and dark like a silver-backed gorilla with nothing but time. Sometimes people act out their good instincts. This is called charity. Sometimes they act out their bad instincts. This is called strangling. And sometimes they shuffle quietly from home to work and back again, simply puzzled by it all. This is called The Rest of Us.

Remember that old game where you pull the petals off a flower while saying, "He loves me...He loves me not...He loves me...He loves me not"? (You know, the one where we seek to confirm our affections by taking the most beautiful thing we can find and then mutilating it?) I'm thinking of patenting an updated version: "He loves me...He can't believe we ever went out...He loves me...He's stunned by how the passage of time doesn't make my stories any funnier...He loves me...He wants to bludgeon me whenever I'm chewing cereal..."

Sunny Jim, that's me. You too?

I don't know how long ago water glasses were invented, but I'll bet it wasn't long before one of the designer's cavemates held it up and said, "Say, Og, what do you think? Is the glass half empty or half full?" The nearest alpha probably responded with a narrow look and a sudden, two-handed arc from one of those Geogassic bats they all carried. Thus began our obsession with duality.

"Are you an optimist or a pessimist?" we ask each other constantly, which would be the dumbest question in history if it weren't so busy being trite. I reject it, because I'm neither and both. Don't we understand? Macro isn't bigger than micro; macro is micro.

After all, what's more noteworthy? A hundred thousand North Koreans turning placards in unison at a stadium, or one bite of a really good hamburger? (I know which one I'd rather have, and I'll bet you a signed glossy of The Dear Leader that the North Koreans would agree.)

That's what this is about--the hamburger and the stadium, the large and the small, the innocent and the cynical, division and unity. The joyous sylph dancing 'round the glade, while the plump bureaucrat glances up just in time to see Western Civilization spiraling down like a gumball at the Guggenheim.

The American pendulum only swings to extremes. The news is on all day, but we know less and less; there's music in every mall, but we don't hear it; everyone has a phone but nothing to say. The chubbiest of us have the strictest diets, because we can't learn to modulate and moderate. It's all or nothing. One bite of a cookie, and suddenly you're on a plane to Vegas with a hooker. Extremes. Contrasts. Opposites. He loves me, he loves me not.

For centuries, the book world has been divided into fiction and nonfiction. I'd like to propose a third category: friction. And, boy, am I the one for that job.

You see, to the Cranky Nitpickers of America--a club I'd join in a second if I weren't already its president--it's long been understood that the world is going to Hell in a handbasket. Concerning which, there are three things to remember:

First, every generation in history has said the same thing since, oh, forever.

Second...What in the world is a "handbasket," anyway? Is it significant that it rhymes with a-tisket, a-tasket? And why is hopping one to Hell any worse than getting there the old-fashioned way? I mean, at that point, I wouldn't think it mattered.

Does anyone arrive in The Infernal Regions and buttonhole Satan on the subject? "Now look, bub, I'm sure this is all going to get pretty unpleasant, and probably stay that way longer than I'd like. I'm also guessing you don't have a very active complaint department down here. Yes, yes, I see that poker you're hiding, and I'll bet I know where it's going, but before we start this wingding there's something I need to get off my chest: That trip over here in the handbasket was no day at the beach, let me tell you. Here, look at that. See those mesh marks? They're probably going to scar. We're like peaches in my family. And while we're on the subject, a Lubriderm concession at the gift shop wouldn't go amiss, either. Anything with aloe. Well, I'm an idea man. Say, isn't that Stalin?"

Third, and most important: Every other generation in history was wrong. Ours really is going to Hell, handbasket and all. Luckily, the boatman on that gondola is as feckless as we are, and we're not there yet. Soon, though. Soon enough.

The world is about to see (a) a thousand years of horror, (b) a giant battle of good and evil, or (c) a lot more of the same.

What better time for a rant?

In any event, here it is. That's the goal of this, and that's what it was about. To be funny. I think it is, and I hope you do, too.

Which, come to think of it, must make me an optimist.

He loves me...He loves me not...

He loves me.

What other way is there to live?

An interesting perspective on God, and feeling rather lonely

Sometimes I think of God as this little man sitting on a café patio somewhere, bewildered at how it's all gotten so out of his control. He had such good intentions, but everything he made had a mind of its own and, right from the first, he found himself unable to contain their conflicting impulses. He tried to create paradise, but he soon discovered that free will and paradise were incompatible because everybody has a different idea as to what paradise should be like.

But usually when I think of him, I think of a cat: a little mysterious, a little aloof, never coming when he's called. And in my mind, God's always a he. The bible makes it pretty clear that men are the doers; women can only be virgins or whores. In God's eyes, we can only exist somewhere in between the two Marys, the mother of Jesus and the Magdalene.

What kind of a religion is that? What kind of religion ignores the rights of half the world's population just because they're supposed to have envy instead of a penis? One run by men. The strong, the brave, the true. The old boys' club that wrote the book and made the laws.

I'd like to find him and ask him, "Is that it, God? Did we really get cloned from a rib and because we're hand-me-downs, you don't think we've got what it takes to be strong and brave and true?"

But that's only part of what's wrong with the world. You also have to ask, what's the rationale behind wars and sickness and suffering?

Or is there no point? Is God just as bewildered as the rest of us? Has he finally given up, spending his days now on that café patio, sipping strong espresso, and watching the world go by, none of it his concern anymore? Has he washed his hands of it all?

Taken from "My Life as a Bird" by Charles de Lint (Moonlight & Vines)

Ohne Dich
-Rammstein

Ich werde in die Tannen gehen
Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen
Doch der Abend wirft ein Tuch aufs Land
und auf die Wege hinterm Waldesrand
Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Auf den Ästen in den Gräben
ist es nun still und ohne Leben
Und das Atmen fällt mir ach so schwer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Ohne dich kann ich nicht sein
Ohne dich
Mit dir bin ich auch allein
Ohne dich
Ohne dich zähl ich die Stunden ohne dich
Mit dir stehen die Sekunden
Lohnen nicht ohne dich

Without You
-Translation-

I'm going to go into the fir trees
There where I last saw her
But the evening is throwing a cloth upon the land
and upon the ways behind the edge of the forest
And the forest it is so black and empty
Woe is me, oh woe
And the birds sing no more

On the branches in the ditches
it's now silent and without life
And breathing becomes oh so hard for me
Woe is me, oh woe
And the birds sing no more

Without you I cannot be
Without you
With you I am alone too
Without you
Without you I count the hours without you
With you the seconds stand still
They are not worth it without you

Another One Bites the Dust

Yeah, deleted the bitchy/moany post. Still hate my dad, but he's not worthy of being mentioned on my blog after this. Unless of course he dies. That'll make him worthy of recognition of some kind.

Anyways, I've decided that I'm going to stop being lazy/cowardly and actually submit some of my writing to finally see if it's worth pursuing or not. Of course, that means researching magazines and making a trip to B&N (hopefully tomorrow) to see actual copies of said magazines--(the latter being more enjoyable than the former). I really don't have many stories/articles written to send in, but I'll send them all out to different magazines and see what the response is.

Also, I'm working on a novel. I haven't told too many people about it but I've been working on it for about a month or so. Maybe a little longer. I got some help on picking the characters' names (which are derived from Norwegian) and I let a KoC friend read what I had written so far. He said he liked it so far. Now, if I can only find the drive to keep working on it. (Really, I'm liking the process of writing it so I hope it stays that way.) It's about dragons (go figure, eh?), and the tentative title is Dragestad. To be honest, this is my first actual attempt to write fantasy. Seeing as how it's my favourite genre to read, I've been hesitant to endeavor writing some of my own. I'm always afraid it'll turn out corny. (And I think the intro to my story is very, very corny, but the rest, not so much.)

In fact, talking about it has made me wanna go do some more work on it.

Laterness!

Being naked approaches being revolutionary; going barefoot is mere populism.

Double standards irritate me. So does pornography. Yes, the two go together in a way.

See, a few days ago, I was looking for some pictures to make a banner out of. On the forum that I'm on, a lot of the men have banners of scantily clothed women. None of them are lewd really so it doesn't bug me or anything, but I thought that I'd make my own banner of partially nude men to balance things out. Unfortunately, three hours of searching, google-ing, and otherwise digging for tasteful pics of the male form yielded four pictures:









Please note the partially nude women in two of the four pictures. This is a source for further irritation on my part.

And just a bit ago, I was looking for a sculpture of Mary Magdalene that I'd heard of. (I cannot, for the life of me, remember the name.) And in the process, I got side-tracked and just ended up looking at art from various different eras. Through this search, I found that nearly all paintings and scuptures that depict the human body are of women.



And, on the odd chance, that there is a male painting, he's usually facing away, curled up, or twisted in such a way as to hide the "important" parts.



So, to sate my curiosity, I endeavored to find nude male art that didn't give the impression that the male genitalia is something to be hidden. I like this one because the man looks free and proud.



I found a fair amount of nude males, to be honest. Problem is most of it came from "gay art" sites and most of it was provocative, to say the least. But honestly, why does male nudity have to be restricted to gay sites? It's as though the thought of a woman wanting to look at pictures of nude men is blasphemous. Oh wait, that's right. Men are the ones with the libido and women have no sex drive at all to speak of. Would anyone like a scoop of double standard to go with that stereotype??

What ever happened to art and beauty? When did sexuality become a prerequisite to nudity? Michaelangelo said it best, "What spirit is so empty and blind that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?"

Have we become so perverse that we are incapable of looking at the nude form without lustful thoughts? The religious right blames the naturists (nudists) for so-called barbaric behavior, do they not? Let me ask you, if naturists don't think of sex when they undress, if naturists don't think of sex when they are engaged in wholesome family activities, if naturists don't grab a towel for cover, after taking a shower in fear of having others view them in a 'sex obsessed' manner, who are the perverts then?

Watching TV

So... my Thursday night has just been spent watching TV with a friend in Indianapolis. He wanted me to turn on "Hauntings" on Discovery channel, so I did, but I stayed at the computer for a bit to talk to him and listen to the scary thing before I got intriged enough to get on the laptop and really watch it while still talking to him. Here's an example:

Austin says:
i hate door creaks
∫τερħ says:
shit
∫τερħ says:
me too
Austin says:
lmao
Austin says:
that got me
Austin says:
if you were watching
∫τερħ says:
i was listening...
∫τερħ says:
lol
Austin says:
be glad you weren't watching
∫τερħ says:
:P
∫τερħ says:
this makes me wanna watch
∫τερħ says:
/me goes to get on msn on the laptop
Austin says:
:P
Austin says:
/me goes and hides
Austin says:
oo perfect timing..a commercial
∫τερħ says:
commercial...good, perfect timing
∫τερħ says:
stop that :P
Austin says:
whoa
∫τερħ says:
lmao
Austin says:
*shakes head and blinks*

After that we watched "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and the conversation dissolved into random "lol", "lmao", and "rofl"s :P

Concerning Leigh aka Mr. Toaster

In case anyone was wondering, yes, Leigh still exists. At least as much as he always did. It's been nearly a year since he's shown his handsome face on my blog (or on MSN) owing to malicious malware (heheh) on his PC which no one is showing any inclination of fixing.

Our sporadic emails go something like this:

----------

TO: Leigh
FROM: Steph
SUBJECT: Two weird things that remind me of you

1. I was looking for decent screensavers today and found one that if you were in possession of a working computer, you would love. Think toasters. Flying toasters. Hehehehehe...

2. I'd planned on sending this email awhile ago and inevitably forgot all about it, but then as I was making a post on a forum, I remembered. Then forgot again, but I knew there was something I wanted to do, and I knew I remembered it while I was posting. So, I reread my post (in which I referred to the "sexy paperclip helper dude in MS word" and thought to myself "Oh yeah. Sexy paperclips. I wanted to email Leigh about the toaster thing." :P

Cheerio ^_^

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TO: Steph
FROM: Leigh
SUBJECT: RE: Two weird things that remind me of you

Two things in return ;)

1. Lol
2. Wow

(no specific order intended :P)

Check out Tristania :)

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I don't know why that amuses me as much as it does, but hey...
*big grin*

All I've Been Able to Think about Today

Hickory sighed. She took a final drag from her cigarette then stubbed it out on the edge of her stair, storing the butt in her pocket.

“Tell me something,” she said. “Are you running from something or running to something?”

“What difference does it make?”

“A big difference. Running away’s only a partial solution. Sooner or later, whatever you’re running from is going to catch up to you again. Comes a time you’re going to have to face it, so it might as well be now. But running to something…well.”

“Well, what?” I wanted to know when she didn’t go on right away.

She fixed that dark gaze of hers on me. “I guess all I wanted to tell you, Darlene, is if you believe in what you’re doing, then go at it and be willing to pay the price you have to pay.”

I knew what she was trying to tell me. Playing a honky-tonk in Newford was a big deal for a girl from the hills like me, but it wasn’t what I was aiming for. I was just the first step and the rest of the road could be long and hard. I never knew just how long and hard. I was young and full of confidence, back then at the beginning of the sixties; invulnerable, like we all think we are when we’re just on the other side of still being kids.

“But I want you to promise me one thing,” Hickory added. “Don’t you never do something that’ll make you feel ashamed when you look back on it later.”

-Taken from "In the Pines" by Charles de Lint (Moonlight & Vines)

Quite Confused

I know it was a few months ago where I repeatedly said that I was moving to Norway at the earliest possible opportunity. Well, the earliest possible opportunity would have been today, since my only obligation here was to attend Jonie's wedding yesterday. I never told Hans that that was my plan though.

That said, I find it ironic that Hans asked me to move to Norway with him just today. In fact, he has it mostly all planned out. I don't have the money; he knows where to get it. I don't speak Norwegian very well; he can teach me. I won't have a job or permit to work in Norway; I can work for him (graphic design and coding stuff) until I get such. I don't know much coding or CGI stuff; he can teach me that too. And the list of such things goes on from there.

Truth be told though, the thought of going to Norway scares me to death--not so much because of Hans, though if I said I wasn't nervous about meeting him finally, I'd be lying. It's that I wouldn't know anyone but Hans, that I wouldn't understand much for awhile, that I'd be leaving everything I know and am familiar with, and that if ever it could be said that I have a tragic flaw, it's that I tend to put all my eggs in one basket, as the saying goes. Well, if moving to Norway on a whim isn't doing just that, then I don't know what is. Somehow it just figures that I've wanted to go there for so long and now that the chance to do so has come along, I wanna chicken out. The saying "Be careful what you wish for" comes to mind.

Still, I love him, and I'd hate to think that I've wasted a year of his time and my time pursuing something that we both thought was serious, only to chicken out at the thought of finally making the dream a reality.

But at the same time, this isn't just a regular decision to move in with my boyfriend. If things don't work out between the two of us, the move out process isn't going to be simple, seeing as how the only home I have currently is a tiny bit more than a trip down the street.

I'm not asking for advice on this one really, since I already know that all of you would most likely say that if I'm not sure I should stay here, but I can't honestly say that I wanna stay here either.

Bill Shakespeare said it best in Hamlet:

[It] makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others we know not of
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with pale cast of thought
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

I really don't know what to do. Worse yet, I don't know what not to do.

He said he'd look into prices and all that, so here's hoping he procrastinates and gives me some more time to think it over...

"I now pronounce you man and wife" ... Game Over

My little Jonie is officially Mrs. JR Myers now. (JR = Joe Russel.) I cried like a baby...twice. Once when she was walking down the isle (yeah, go figure) and then again at the reception when she was dancing with her father to the song Butterfly Kisses.

Butterfly Kisses
-Bob Carlisle

There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from Heaven
And she's daddys little girl
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life
Oh but most of all

For butterlfy kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk beside the pony dady
It's my first ride
I know the cake looks funny daddy
But i sure tried
Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deseve a hug every mornin
And butterfly kisses at night

Sweet 16 today
She's lookin like her mama
A little more every day
One part woman
The other part girl
To perfume and mke up
From ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin little white flowers all up in her hair
You know how much I love you daddy
But if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the check this time
Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every mornin
And butterfly kisses at night

All the precious time
Like the wind the years go by
Precious Butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away
Standing in the bride room just starin at her
She asked me what I'm thinkin
And I said I'm not sure
I just feel like I'm loosin my baby girl
And she leaned over

And gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there
Stickin little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk me down the isle daddy
It's just about time
Does my wedding gown look pretty daddy?
Daddy don't cry
Oh with all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every mornin and butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more and this is what love is
I know I've got to let her go but I'll always remember
Every hug in the mornin and butterly kisses

That song makes me cry even now. I'm not sure why, except that it applies to Jonie so well. She's so incredibly close to her family.

Anyways, enough sappy stuff. I had a lot of fun though getting my hair and makeup done this morning. My hair looked fantastic, I still have it in. My makeup originally made me look like a $5 hooker, but after I wiped a lot of the dark gook off, it looked better ($25 dollar hooker :P)

Then the wedding and me and Sharon (maid of honor) and Jonie's mom and dad all crying like babies and Jonie screwing up her vowes cus she was crying. Then we got into our respective cars. I road with my partner Coot (the maid of honor's husband) and the groom's sister Erin and her partner Eric. The four of us drank a bottle of champagne which was opened en route (much to the surprise of all of us when the cork went bouncing around the car and left a nice dent in the roof).

We stopped at Cascade Park on the way to the reception and got our pictures taken on some rather large rocks. (Yeah, women in long gowns and high heels climbing on rocks...that was fun.)

The reception itself was fairly boring. I didn't know many people outside of the actual wedding party, so I just kinda hung out at the bar chatting with the very cute bar tender [;)] until Jonie's cousin came over and we did shots. Lots of shots. Hehehe... That could explain my current headache...

Then I found an excuse to leave early cus I was bored to tears and had already talked to everyone I knew and danced to the songs I wanted to dance to.

I'm glad it's over, but I'm so happy for her. That's probably why I cried. Still, she's my little Jonie and she's not so little anymore...

I'll post pics when I get them.

Gah...busy!

So yeah. Let's see... I've been home for a total of like 4 hours today. The rest of the time was spent helping Jonie get the final things done for her wedding in three days. Sharon (the maid of honor), Jonie, and me ran around all day buying stuff, picking up the glasses and silverware, and the guys' tuxes as well. Then there was the buying of random stuff at random stores to boot. Plus loading and unloading all the crap in the cars, and then reloading some of it again for me to do on my own...like homework. :P Plus, I ended up having to drive Sharon's jeep around a bit because it was loaded with stuff and she had to go some place with her nephew. First of all, I hate driving other peoples' vehicles, especially on wet roads that I'm not at all familiar with. I drove it something like 10 miles in total, and in those 10 miles, I almost hit a herd of deer and two groundhogs. That and the fact that her gas pedal was sooooo touchy. Never did get used to it.

Yesterday was spent washing 500 dishes and then putting together the 300 favors (those stupid little things that have mints in them that everyone just takes for granted and never realizes just how much damn work actually goes into something so little and insignificant.) Then we had to put labels on the 250 "kissing bells" which is cute in concept but also a pain in the ass. (For those that don't know, these "kissing bells" do exactly what their name implies. At the reception, any time someone rings their bell, the bride and groom are supposed to kiss. (And I can't help but remember the joy of painting the bells. See, Jonie's colors are silver and blue but the only bells we could find in such quantity were gold, so we spray-painted them silver. Yeah, I sneezed silver for three days thereafter.)

Tomorrow, I have to put 180 wine glasses through my dishwasher, as well as have my mother hem my dress (on her birthday) AFTER I run to Ohio to buy her a present last-minute like. And I have to do laundry and take my dog for a walk to the park and take pictures of potential places for Jonie to have wedding pictures taken. Oh, and get my nails done.

Friday, I'll be spending all bloody day decorating the hall for the reception. Fun stuff there. Then the wedding on Saturday. And then the freakin clean up... meh, I really hate that part.

Then, on top of all that, there's KoC drama taking place. An ex-friend of mine named Ben has been banned from our alliance because he screwed up badly and wouldn't apologize but instead decided to make a mockery of our diciplinary action. Now, he's sabbing us and enlisting as many people as he can to help, and bragging about it to me. Here's parts of the "fun" conversation I had with him today:

∫τερħ says:
and what exactly do you plan on accomplishing with your sabbing?
Ben says:
I want Hans's apologies
Ben says:
he hasn't asked me though, what would make me stop
Ben says:
so for now obviously 7 billion is not enough yet
∫τερħ says:
meh, that's the worst way i've ever heard of getting an apology from someone... i'll tell him what you said, but if it were me in hans's situation i'd tell you to go fuck yourself
∫τερħ says:
so i wouldn't get your hopes up

...

Ben says:
well you don't even know the reason I'm chaining I think
∫τερħ says:
do tell
Ben says:
meh was sick of Hans's random insults
Ben says:
After banning
Ben says:
+ kelz's aop in #eliten
∫τερħ says:
also among the stupidest things i've ever heard
∫τερħ says:
and cowardly
Ben says:
lol
∫τερħ says:
hey, let's sab everyone cus 2 people pissed me off
∫τερħ says:
and let's keep doing it and enlist others
∫τερħ says:
and blah blah blah
Ben says:
meh it's called chaining
∫τερħ says:
meh, it's called stupidity

...

Ben says:
I'm sabber now, sabbers sab for every shitty reason they can find
Ben says:
Not that I was planning on doing so
Ben says:
But by the way, one of those 2 ppl is the clanleader
∫τερħ says:
justifying it to yourself?
Ben says:
I don't have to justify anything
Ben says:
if I sab someone cuase I can't beat his DA I don't feel guilty
∫τερħ says:
whatever you say ben

So that put me in such a WONDERFUL mood this morning after that conversation. The worst part is that none of the accounts he has access to can sab me (and so far, he's not stooped that low to sab me--I was one of the very few people that defended his actions before he got banned.) So instead, he's sabbed the little members and they come crying to me and I'm not around and can't do anything to help them. No one else ever steps up to lead masses, which irritates me, so everyone just keeps getting sabbed cus I'm too busy with real life (more important) things. Still, that doesn't mean I don't get bitched at when I AM around.

Plus, the drama with Hans is not yet over. He says it is, but there's still tension there and it bugs me. But he doesn't wanna talk about it. Oh well. He's going away from tomorrow until Sunday (Denmark to visit his family) so maybe he'll de-stress and come back in a less grumpy mood.

This was a long post. I'm done now. :P

Update: Me

Hmm... where do I wanna start?

Almost broke up with Hans today. And for a reason that I wanna say is stupid, but I know better. The conversation that ensued as a result gave me some interesting insights into his character though. And into my own. Yeah, I'm being vague for a reason on this one.

Also, got a job today. I'm offically a U.S. Postal Employee. I'm not exactly sure what that entails except for long nights and standing for hours on end sorting mail. Not exactly my dream job, but hey, a paycheck is a paycheck. Oh, and my fingers are still dyed red from the finger printing.

Jonie's wedding is Saturday, and I am in dire need of a seamstress to hem my gown. (And on such short notice...gah... why am I such a procrastinator!?)

Speaking of procrastination, I need to make a doctor's appointment for a weird blue splotch that appeared on my underarm some time during the night, right in the center of the rash that's been there for two weeks that I kept telling myself I should have a doctor look at. Too bad none of you are close enough that you can beat me with a stick for neglecting it for so long.

And lastly, and perhaps most disturbingly, I believe I once mentioned a dream I had where I was visiting a little girl named Amara in a mental instition. (Comment Number Two) Well, fairly recently I had another dream about little Amara. She was slightly older and the dream was equally as disconcerting as the other one, but is it weird that I have dreams about the same little girl? Plus, I actually remember them, and I so rarely remember my dreams...

Survey, musically...

11 Songs In Your Current Playlist

1. Far Away - Nickelback
2. ...As the Future Repeats Today - In Flames
3. Ashes in Your Mouth - Megadeth
4. Hope - Apocalyptica
5. Mourning Tree - Leaves' Eyes
6. Asgard - Therion
7. Ghost Love Score - Nightwish
8. When the Eagle Cries - Iced Earth
9. Our Truth - Lacuna Coil
10. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
11. Until It Sleeps - Metallica

10 Songs You Will Never Get Tired Of

1. And Then There Was Silence- Blind Guardian
2. Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Orion - Metallica
4. Guardiano del Destino - Rhapsody
5. Poison - Alice Cooper
6. Ruska - Apocalyptica
7. The Dark - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
8. Thorn - Blind Guardian
9. Children of the Night - Lordi
10. Satellites and Astronauts - In Flames

9 Songs You Can't Stand

1. The Hey Song
2. Bad Seed - Metallica
3. Bad to the Bone - George Therogood
4. Popcorn - Hot Butter
5. anything by Shakira/Christina/Britney
6. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N Roses
7. Love Shack - B-52s
8. Figured You Out - Nickelback
9. Crazy Bitch - Buck Cherry

8 Songs that Make you cry... or just make you sad

1. High Hopes - Pink Floyd
2. Yesterday - The Beatles
3. Nothing Really Ends - dEUS
4. Come Clarity - In Flames
5. The Maiden and the Minstrel Knight - Blind Guardian
6. Open Arms - Journey
7. Ohne Dich - Rammstein
8. Conclusion - Apocalyptica

7 Songs That You Like to Dance To

1. Crush 'Em - Megadeth
2. Cloud Connected - In Flames
3. Dragula - Rob Zombie
4. Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
5. On Earth - Samael
6. Tell Me Baby - Red Hot Chili Peppers
7. Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey

6 Songs To Relax To

1. Ruska - Apocalyptica
2. The Magic of the Wizard's Dream - Rhapsody
3. Skalds and Shadows - Blind Guardian
4. Wet Sand - Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. La Petite Fille de la Mer - Vangelis
6. Monastery of la Rabida - Vangelis

5 Songs that Make You Happy

1. Strength of the World - Avenged Sevenfold
2. Like a Rock - Bob Seger
3. Hardrock Hallelujah - Lordi
4. Emerald Sword - Rhapsody
5. Ljusalfheim - Therion

4 Songs That Always Get Stuck In Your Head

1. Popcorn - Hot Butter
2. You're a Grand Old Flag
3. Sell Out - Reel Big Fish
4. Love Potion #9 - The Clovers

3 Songs You Regret Ever Liking

1. anything Backstreet Boys (*blush*)
2. anything ICP
3. pretty much all the music I listened to in JR High...

2 Songs You Could Listen to On Repeat All Day

1. Fly to the Rainbow - Therion
2. And Then There Was Silence - Blind Guardian

1 Song that You're Embarrassed to Admit You Like It

1. I Can't Help Falling in Love with You - Elvis Presely